I found peace from war.
I found love from hate.
I found god from religion.
I found us from me.

I wanted to say:

Thank you for I am so very grateful to have you in my life.  Happy Valentine's Day!  

Love,
Doug    

Below is long winded version of that... I would argue that none of us know the answer, but in an effort to avoid projecting - for me...   It comes down to this: I do not know where I am going, but I know where I am headed.   Did I avoid a car accident or meeting a soul mate this morning because a coffee mug shattered in my hands because the hot water was too hot?  I may never know...   I do know that we are all in this together and without observers the world would not exist, as we accept it today.  I know that I am not alone even when I am lonely; ultimately that is all that matters to me.  I am not alone in this marvelous illusion I call "life".  I am blessed to share it with people like you.   I wanted to thank you for I am so very grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for this experience. Thank you for your understanding. Thank you for your acceptance. Thank you for your never ending patience. Thank you for being you. Thank you for letting me part of your life. Thank you for all your lessons Thank you for all the opportunities. I love you.   Doug  

I feel that my friends (typically from the past) think I am passing judgment.  I have been completely honest with them lately, but told them I could not possibly suggest they should live like me. They are not me...they have not had my experiences, so that would be unfair.  The universe wants me to be where I am right now...I won't resist.

I don't question my past, because my past has brought me to my present.  If I had different experiences, I would not be the person I am today...I like who I am today.  Who am I to suggest a different path...

be love,

doug

Thought I would share the "happiest" countries...

http://www.businessweek.com/globalbiz/content/oct2006/gb20061011_072596.htm

'merica is 23rd.

Peace be with you!

whether it is the economy and/or a super bug - our economy like life is not the "true" experience.  We "chose" not to observe reality and live in a false economic and social reality....the mind is a great thing and most of us do not waste it, we exhaust it with simple actions, tasks and various other things (alcohol, religion, etc), so we don't have to think about origin, purpose and morals.

My new/developing theory: the reason our population is growing is because the universe "knows" it needs numbers...a fish lays millions of eggs without knowing why, but at the end of the day it is about survival. I think we all would accept that fish cannot purposefully affect their reproduction cycle from laying a couple of eggs to several million.  Like fish we are ploding along, taking over the earth, simply because we can.

 The universe is allowing our world population to grow at this rate to teach us a lesson... What I do know is in death there is life, so even if all of are whipped out - their will be some other realm of existence for "us". It is my belief that many of will die and the collective world will learn the earth is not "ours", we are the earth and those that continue will live simple lives until we forget the lesson and have to repeat the cycle.

To further my fishy analogy (oh no he didn't)...if I may be so bold to say individuals such as ourselves are the dolphins of the world. Our numbers are few, but we help the weak, eat what we need, have recreational sex (as opposed to strict procreation), and frolic. The rest of the folks that we share the waters with are: sharks - praying on the weak, tuna - existing to work, catfish - eating shit sandwichs, ....speaking of tuna I am got get back to work, so some day soon I can frolic in Costa Rica and help humanity, oh and have recreational sex - the three things dolphins do best.

One of the greatest gifts this "lucky", middle classed, well educated (life and academic) white male from Wisconsin came to me when I was 28 years old.  I had managed to live 28 years without knowing real hatred.  When I was in Iraq, a local looked through me to my soul and he wanted me to dead.  He did not know me, but he knew that every fiber in his being hated me and I felt it.  It may have been the most inspiring event in my life.  Earlier would have been "better", but I never question the timing of any lesson.

I think most of us here would agree with that statement.  For something to begin something must "end".  I am on my about my 15th life, honestly I have stopped counting.  I can remember a day when I feared death...now I am ready to die.  I have had great experience and welcome death.  I am still naive enough to say that I have lots to do in this physical world and do enjoy this interaction, so I am in no hurry to move on, but I am certainly not scared of it.  It has come to the point where my doctor thought..."it could be Hodgkin's" and I accepted it and slept well that night...comfortably allowing the world to decide my fate - it was in the universe's hands and I was okay with a "premature" exit stage left. 

This brings to me the death of the world as we know it...and the hope that I have for its "rebirth" it to a more civil world.  The "end" could be tomorrow or could be a hundred years from today.  Like my own death I look forward to it, but I still have some things to do. This thought is supported with love and hope - it is not intended to be negative.  We are the path of destruction; I look forward to the rebirth.

I heard REM, but now I understand it and I feel fine.

Unconditional commitment unconcerned with the results...I keep going, but it ceratinly is not without its challenges.  I think people are so used to lies that it is to be expected therefore most people think that my actions are not genuine...which I guess in the long run will be a great lesson if one is open to it.  I stay true to myself, even thought my peers second guess my actions.  My agenda is simply to love; it is my hope that the figure that out, because I will be the last to tell them.

When I first came back from Iraq; I wanted a home.  I bought a house thinking that a place to rest my head would give me roots.  Today, I connected the dots...home is not a place it is person(s). 

Over the holidays, I was a afforded the opportunity to grow back my beard, which I had not had since I was who I wanted to be.  AS simple as it was...I found myself.  It is so good to be back on the path.  I don't know for certain what or where, nor when...but change is amongst us.  More later...